You have probably heard of Proverbs 31: it is extremely popular among the Churchianity movement and also (perhaps more disturbingly) even among some real Christians. Even I’d heard of it, and I haven’t even read the bible (the wife keeps encouraging me to do so, but clearly I’ve already learned the important bits, and those gilt-edged pages are so unalpha. Better to just sit down with some Tucker Max, amirite?) But the other day none of my phone contacts were texting back and I was stuck alone in a hotel room (women and their showers!) so I’d thought I’d have a look at the famous proverb about wives.
So why is it “disturbing” that Churchians are into it, you ask? Well, as I’m sure I am not the first to notice, the corruption of feminist translation is obvious. Just look at this:
Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
Like most feminist lies (and also like hookers), this verse sucks you in by its deceptively harmless beginning. “Who can find a virtuous woman?” SEEMS like a dig at the Churchianity crowd, who would have you believe that ALL women are virtuous (LOL!). But dig just a couple of verses deeper and you’ll find:
She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
Hm, a bit strange. The woman is BUYING a field and PLANTING a vineyard? What does her husband think of this? Would you trust a woman to buy a whole FIELD when there is at least ¼ of a chance that she is on her period or otherwise hormonal, and a 100% chance that she is being hoodwinked into buying a crappy field because the field salesman was a handsome alpha?
Then you come to this:
She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.
She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
This is a flat-out feminist lie. How would a normal, alpha husband accept his woman potentially making more money than him, like some sort of unmarried feminist harpie? And we are meant to believe that women could just interact with merchants and keep their pretty heads together (not to mention their legs)? Think about how alpha and dominant merchants have to be to get people to buy their goods. We’re meant to believe that women could resist those charms and not gleefully jump on for another ride on the carousel?
I can only assume that these are a series of mistranslations. Maybe “field” originally meant something like “baby clothing” and “fine linen” was originally something more like those crafts women are always putting up on Pinterest (did you know you can actually sell crafts online, as well? SSM discovered this the other day. Why aren’t more of the non-upper-middle-class women who are always complaining about needing dual incomes doing this?!)
The proverb then ends on a low:
Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
Oh, please. Feminist translators, we’re meant to believe that this guy is in the BIBLE (which as we know, is clearly a red-pill handbook) and doesn’t know how to deliver a good neg?
Just how deep does the Churchianity rabbit hole go?